Meal Inspiration and some griefy thoughts: Week of 4/6/25

Happy Sunday, Friends!

Maybe you'll find this post depressing if you can't relate or random, but I think we can all learn something from us grievers. I'm listening to a video of a friend from Barre who presented at a local Relay for Life event to share her story of her brain cancer diagnosis in 2021. She's been a health care provider for 25 years and after one conversation with her, you would know her passion for this career is only a fraction of her passion and zest for life.

She sees cancer as, not something that happened to her, but something that happened for her. This is a hard pill to swallow, no? It's easy to get caught up in the "why me?" How could this ever be a positive circumstance? Years into my grief, I see and feel her perspective although it didn't come quite as quickly to me as it did to her.

As humans, we need and deserve the time to process our grief, feel our feelings, maybe even wallow a little (or a lot, no one's judging). While the grief from a diagnosis or death of a loved one never goes away, you can choose one of two directions.

The first is you can stay embedded in your grief and let it define you. You can use it as an excuse to maintain and not grow. Whether you are 5 days, 5 months or 5 years into your grief like I am, let me be clear; I'm in no way telling you to "get over it," "time to move on." You will always be moving toward healing no matter how long it takes. Seek help and you will reach direction 2 in your own time.

Second, once you move through the worst, most consistent feelings of grief. You know those feelings that visit you every day and consume all of your thoughts. Eventually, these feelings won't consume you 100% of the time like they are sure to at the beginning. They will still visit, often, but they won't be or feel all consuming. This is when you can unlock the perspective my friend shares about; this didn't happen to me, it happened for me.

And, maybe this feeling will come and go like it does for me and like I'm sure it does for my friend, but when those feelings of wallowing creep in, the "why me's?" start to reframe your thoughts. "I've been given the opportunity to start over." "This has opened my eyes to reprioritizing what's most important to me." "How do I want to live my life?" "How have I grown from this shitty experience." (Please notice I'm still calling it a shitty experience so yes, I'm still bitter this happened FOR me in this way.)

Grief will change you and some of your closest friends and family may never understand. You'll grieve more than your lost loved ones. Grief forces you to rewrite your life.

Tomorrow is the 4th anniversary of my Dads death, followed by his birthday on Wednesday. It seems surreal that we're here. It was a beautiful spring week when it happened and my Dad had be suffering for a long time. it felt like a relief at the same time it was the biggest heartbreak.

I don't consider myself a blogger or influencer, I'm just a human committed to growing, healing, and learning (and failing) out loud in 2025. If I can help one person step out of their comfort zone, get out of their own way, commit to changing their perspective it will be worth it.

Planning meals this week because I know that the grief will sneak up on me and to be honest, cooking and knowing what I'm going to eat is a way for me to feel in control of my body when my mind feels like it can't be told what to do. I'm not a huge eater when I'm feeling sad, so having things prepped ahead of time will help me nourish my body when I may not feel like it.

What are you making this week? How do your eating habits change when you're experiencing grief?

XO Steph